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Whether you prefer warm or cold sensations, temperature play during a blow job (with your partner’s permission, of course) can really heighten the experience. “Drinking a hot drink like tea or hot cocoa [beforehand] can give your lover a warm sensation once you begin sucking on them,” Lawless says. “For a cold feeling, you can use ice cubes or peppermints in your mouth, and then after sucking on the penis, blow on it to give an extra cooling sensation.” You can also try a cooling or warming lubricant. Deep throating is not required to give a great blow job, Lawless says. So, don’t put pressure on yourself to do it unless you genuinely want to.

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Why Learn To Talk Dirty In The First Place?

If you feel uncomfortable using explicit language while talking dirty to your man or if you don’t like the idea of sending him dirty text messages, don’t feel that you have to! The key is making dirty talk work for you. Right now, you are reading the first chapter of the Dirty Talking Guide…On this page, you’re going to learn 73 different dirty talking phrases to use.

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You can click here to skip straight to them or keep reading to learn how and why you should be using dirty talk in your relationship. A blow job might be oral sex, but that doesn’t mean your mouth has to do all the work. “I like to think of the mouth as providing wetness and your hands as providing tightness,” says Marin. If your jaw starts to feel sore or tired a few minutes into the job, you’re likely suctioning too hard with your mouth. So shift some of the work to your hands, counting on them for pressure.

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Even if things are hot in the moment and you’re positive they’re ready for a blow job, ask the person beforehand and get consent instead of assuming they want something. “This allows partners to feel safer, comfortable, valued, less anxious, and uninhibited while being free to enjoy all the pleasure sexual play can provide,” Lawless says. Well, it’s ultimately subjective—as is the case with every sexual act, different people like different things.

(It can also be kinky!) Also, it’s not a bad idea to keep a glass of water nearby to prevent dry mouth—you may need it. One of the most important rules of giving good head is actually wanting to give good head. “The biggest complaint I hear from clients about blow jobs has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with their partner’s enthusiasm about it,” Marin says. “Recipients will have a great time if they know their partner is enjoying it.” If you really want to make him hard, follow through with what you say, and the next time you sext him, it’ll be even more effective because he’ll know you mean it. When you send texts that will make him horny, make sure you’re happy with what you’re suggesting.

Each week we interview professionals, academics, therapists, industry insiders and everyone in between to teach you how to have a better relationship & experience more sexual pleasure. Discreetly listen to sex & relationship experts every week on the Bad Girls Bible podcast. We cover everything from sexual health to increasing you and your partner’s pleasure to the latest trends and myths you should be aware of when it comes to your sexuality.

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No matter how well you know your partner, establishing consent before engaging in any sexual act is crucial. “Consent is essential for any sexual encounter and provides a layer of trust and respect,” says Lisa Lawless, PhD, a sexual health expert and CEO of Holistic Wisdom. He might be busy or stressed about something.

Ultimately, different blow job techniques work for different people, and it’s perfectly normal to have to try several techniques before you find a strategy that drives your partner wild. “Feel with your mouth the texture, the shape, and how it fills your mouth. Go into it with curiosity.” How you handle the ejaculation piece of a blow job is personal preference. If you don’t like ejaculation in the mouth, ask your partner to let you know when they’re about to finish, remove your mouth, and simply continue with your hand, suggests Skyler. “Or if they don’t mind the cum but they don’t want to swallow it, they can spit,” she says. You can also bring a sex toy into the mix.

The connection between you and video performer can be spectacular. The sex energy along with braingasm(?) can skyrocket, in the end leaving you relaxed and relieved. Ask your partner about their desires and share your own.


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